All posts by sera

never die

© 2013 harper blue music

scientists have discovered
that there’s a black hole in my chest
light and heat can’t escape it
they get pulled in with the rest
my bright hopes and my burning desires
are subsumed by this long-dead star’s mass
my heart stretched by the weight of such gravity’s
pulled until there’s nothing left
i let my heart go
therapists have uncovered
the ravening pit in my brain
all its teeth pointed inward
lining the path of escape
my best ideas are covered in gore
from the holes that those teeth helped create
too disturbing to be shared aloud
so i keep them to myself and wait
and let my mind go
i had finally recovered
insight that i had forgot
that each soul lives forever
whether it wants to or not
i was not born so it can’t be said
there will ever be an end to my life
there is nothing more terrifying
than the idea that i’ll never die
i let my soul go

A quick acoustic webcam video demo is available; here is an mp3 conversion of the source audio. I like the festive holiday light string across the top of the frame for this song.

May 28, 2013

So, I’ve combed through the site and removed all of my old production and song background notes. I’ll probably start pointing people here again, and try to push the boulder up the hill one more time.

Lost on the Way Down.

I’ve been listening to Crumb a lot lately (the good Crumb, not the many bad Crumbs that are out there). If the music itself wasn’t depressing enough, the fact that Crumb broke up and Britney Spears has a hit single based on a bad pick-up line is. Some people have revenge fantasies. I have a fantasy about being a hugely commercially successful musician, so I can cover a Crumb song or two, and get people to flip out when they realize they can buy the first album for a penny, and the second (last) album for a quarter on Amazon. I used to buy out every copy of Romance is a Slowdance from Moby Disc when I lived in LA, because it was in the dollar bin. I’d rifle through it, grab them all, and give them away to anyone I thought might like it.

While looking around to see if Crumb still existed and had put out any records I missed, I discovered a newer, crappier band also called Crumb. I was sad, because at first I thought they’d put out a new record, then I discovered it was just some random trio from Ireland. However, I did find out that Robby Cronholm has a new band called Taxes. His voice doesn’t sound like it used to, I’m not sure what’s different about it. I hope he keeps making music, in any case. He’s very good.

February 25, 2011

I’ve been playing made in korea a bunch lately for some reason.  I also broke out ye olde towne drume machine and set it to playing the bassline and some semblance of the drum part, in true idiot robot fashion.

I’ve been thinking about what “demo” means, too, and I’m considering going for quantity over quality for a bit.  The big hold-up has always been that the recordings don’t sound good enough for my taste, but that creates a sort of negative vortex of displeasure with the end product, which leads to less production, which leads to less practice, which leads to displeasure with the end product.

My girlfriend and I have been excavating our way through the living room, which holds treasured ancient artifacts like the 788 beneath its mountain ranges.  I’ve always felt that most of my songs were like lanced boils, things born of pain that demand release, though hopefully less disgusting.  They’ve been demanding release more frequently these days, for whatever reason.

So I’d like to start producing what I would characterize as “junk demos,” with truly terrible production values and laughable rhythm performances, courtesy of Dr. 670, but with the not insignificant advantage of being audible to people other than me.  We’ll see how this new initiative pans out.  Me and initiative, not the best of friends.

February 15, 2011

I’ve been sitting here playing with WordPress as a new platform for the site, as much as an exercise for our home-based web development business as for the site itself. Songs and previous News pages, comprising probably 90% of the old site’s contents, have been largely repurposed into the new data format. Next up, learning how WordPress Themes work, and trying to make the new site look as much like the old one as possible. Not because the old site looked so awesome that it was timeless and should never change, but because that way I have a point of reference for how long it might take me, and what kind of work is involved, to take a working site or wireframe or mock-up and convert it to a custom WordPress Theme.

Sorry, the first News update in literally years doesn’t include any new songs. I do have lyrics for several, for, as always, though I am not terribly reliable about sharing, I am pretty reliable about actually writing. Priorities and goals are liquid at this point, not just for my “band,” but for life in general. It’s all very daunting. Life, I mean. My stomach is upset just thinking about it, nevermind facing it.

On the up side, that feeling almost always results in good, new music. Among other things. See you soon. Ish.

yellow baby

© 1996 harper blue music

i’ll die with a smile
painted upon my face
and leave you eliza but
don’t you dare wait
i’m off to see daddy
i’m up with my fame
now that i’m stuck here
i’ll always be late
but i don’t feel so dead
and i don’t feel like dad
just like you see me
after i have left
just like you to use me
for your own ends
come on sell tickets
come on come on sell brandon lee
sell pieces of headstone
sell pieces of me
well and truly dead
well and truly dad

Get the final demo and listen to it with your dad.

year of the rabbit

© 2003 harper blue music

i get no satisfaction out of life
or out of myself
i get nothing that i want
e.g. i’d like to get away from me
and be someone else
or at least sleep a lot more
my placemat says i seek tranquility
that’s about right
my opposite is the cock
i’m not so sure about the second part
if i turn you on
you’ll end up pretty pissed off
shows exactly what is wrong with me
shows exactly what is wrong with me
my placemat says that i’m the luckiest
but luck can be bad
and luck can be all you’ve got
my placemat says that i am talented
i guess it’s a fact
i’m good at putting things off
and then it says that i’m articulate
so why can’t i talk
why can’t i get it across
it also says here i’m affectionate
that’s kind of rough
i’ve driven everyone off
shows exactly what is wrong with me
priorities shows exactly what is wrong with me


© 1999 Stephan Jenkins and Kevin Cadogan; 3EB Publishing/EMI, Blackwood Music/Cappagh Hill/BMG Music (BMI)

A rare acoustic cover.

The second track from the second major-label release by Third Eye Blind, Wounded is a really fantastic song that I only recently figured out how to play. And when I say “figured out,” I really mean “asked the Internet.”

As far as copyright goes, I think it’s ok for me to give this away and not reprint the lyrics. If I’m wrong, well… please don’t kill me or anything.