Monthly Archives: January 2016

the death i deserve

© 2016 harper blue music

no
baby don’t do this
you know we’ve been through this
ten times before
i know
like i always knew this
but could never prove it
my live for you
like planes into buildings
or drones overhead
all these armed misunderstandings
collecting their dead
i’ve been dying
for years now
but you slowed me down
and i wish that you’d never
i wish that i’d drowned
that’s the death i deserve
anonymous and sure
take me down
take me down
where no-
body eats nothing
where nobody feels
nobody feels
where i can die slowly
like i did before
without ever living
without being more
where lions and tigers
and bears pass me by
saying
this one is poisoned
we’d best let her lie
that’s the death i deserve
anonymous and sure
take me down
take me down
no
baby don’t do this
i know you’re in pain
i know it’s my fault
i know
why nobody knew this
masks never do it
and that’s all i am


You can read the story of the second song of 2016 here. Watch me cry and falsetto my way through it right after I wrote it. Looking back now at these dates, I suppose I should have known we were doomed.

present company

© 2016 harper blue music

so in present company
when we’re alone together
do you feel as safe as me
like there’s nothing better
when i practice japanese
when i’m tracing letters
and these fingertips agree
and they move unfettered
when i feel you come for me
when our fingers intertwine
in this holiest sanctuary
where i know that you are mine
or
are you everything you need
got it all together
with all your stationery
for each thoughtful letter
have you got your paris tea
is the next brew better
by your guardians figurines
in your minoa u sweater
baby
when your eyes go grey to green
when you’re music in my scene
if a song is what you need
then a song is what i’ll sing


You can read the story of the first song of 2016 (I think) here. You can see my screwed-up first performance of the song if you want, but honestly, I’d wait for a better recording with less fuck-ups. Or at least read the story of why I kept fucking up, first, because honestly, the performance is just embarrassing.